STOP SAYING A VAGINA IS LOOSE BECAUSE OF A LOT OF SEX.
VAGINAS ALWAYS SHRINK TO THEIR USUAL TIGHTNESS AFTER SEX.
PENISES DO NOT STRETCH THEM OUT OF SHAPE AT ALL
THE VAGINA IS A REALLY STRONG MUSCLE NOT A FLABBY PIECE OF SKIN
WHEN A DUDE BRAGS ABOUT HOW TIGHT A VAGINA WAS
HE’S LITERALLY BRAGGING ABOUT HOW HE COULDN’T GET HIS PARTNER AROUSED.
WOW 4 FOR YOU, BOY.
Spread the word! Maybe one or two boys might actually get it.
Why does everyone say “house-wife” or “house-husband” when “House-spouse” is not only gender neutral, but also RHYMES?
the prof asks the important questions.
Wait, spouse rhymes with house? I always pronounced it ‘spooze’ in my head /o\ WHY IS YOUR LANGUAGE SO WEIRD!!!
Because English beats up other languages in dark alleys, then rifles through their pockets for loose grammar and spare vocabulary.
- my family: skinny people are gross.
- my family: fat people are gross
- my family: self harm-ers are gross
- my family: suicide is gross
- my family: mental illnesses are gross
- my family: homosexuals are gross
- my family: oh, but we won't judge you. you can tell us anything.
- me: lol no i'm fine thanks.
If I had a dollar for everytime I heard someone say their eyes changed color I wouldn’t be living with my parents.
Your eyes aren’t special, they’re fucking brown. Get over it.
and my U.S. History teacher was trying to get us to understand why it was such a big deal that England had put a tax on colonial sugar, and he goes,
"What if you had to pay a tax every time you logged onto wifi?"
And the whole class just went
and I heard at least two people whisper “I would murder someone”
The perfect comparison.
- me: makes a mistake
- me: thinks about mistake every night for the next 7 years
men are the worst but also sometimes they are the best. not as a group. but as individuals
Actually, although this is definitely true, I would argue that this applies to most groups/kinds of people, and even people in general.
“women are weaklings!”
i’m strong enough to carry
your corpse to the woods
this haiku is my favorite haiku